Runny Nose 4 Life

So I’ve been sick the last two days.  Nothing major; just a head cold that was probably induced from travel and stress.  But this head cold has been making my nose run like it’s no one’s business!  As I sat here today with the warm, throbbing pain of a raw nose, I couldn’t help but think about how big a role mocos and tissues played in my life.
I’ve had pretty bad allergies since I was a little kid, and my immune system sucks.  Honestly, I don’t think I’ve gone a day in my life without using tissue.  I’d love to know what it feels like to wake up in the morning and not need to blow my nose.
In elementary school, I was such a stickler for following the rules that I wouldn’t dare get out of my seat to find a tissue, and I was too shy to ask permission.  Instead, the sleeves of my trusty Girl Scout windbreaker served my runny nose purpose.  At first, the cotton sleeves would just be moist and uncomfortable against my wrists.   When they dried, not only were they stiff, they gave off the shimmer of freshly made snail trails.  Each morning I would crinkle the stiffness away, brush off the crust, and get ready for the next round.  Lovely, I know.
As I got older, I learned to carry a few tissues in the pockets of my jeans; especially when I was camping or away from home.  Unfortunately for me, those few tissues filled up quickly, and the juiciness seeped right through my little pockets.  To spare the embarrassment of weird soak spots on my pants, I’d shove those tightly wadded balls of tissue into the sleeves of my sweatshirts.  There, they could bounce around freely to dry off.  Although the coldness of the soggy tissues was not pleasant (especially if I’d raise my arms and one would roll down to my elbow), it was a brilliant fix when I was out and nowhere near a trashcan.
By the time I got to high school, I learned the value of Pocket Kleenex.  I kept at least two of them in my backpack every day.  What was cool with them, was when I ran out of one pack, I could use the wrapper to neatly gather and keep all the used ones that had been rolling around with my pens and calculator.  Again, I wasn’t about to ask my teachers for permission to get up and throw my tissues away during class.  Besides being shy, I never wanted to throw them away till I got home in case I went through both packs and needed to reuse the least moist of the bunch.  Oh yeah, that happened.  A lot.
I’m always surprised by how many people do not have a single box of tissues in their household!  For a girl whose life revolves around tissue, it’s unimaginable to me how they can survive like that.  Plus, it forces guests like me to run to your bathroom and take a chance that your toilet paper can withstand the needs of my nose.
In closing, as a self-proclaimed connoisseur of tissue, I suggest that you get the regular old 2-ply Kleenex brand tissues (Target’s Up&Up brand is surprisingly comparable).  The Extra Soft Kleenex just leaves behind unflattering fuzz on your face; as well as any Puffs brand.  Yuck!  The lotioney ones are just gross and makes it feel as though you rubbed your mocos all across your upper lip.  And antibacterial?  Please!  You’re the only one touching them; save your money.

5 thoughts on “Runny Nose 4 Life

  1. LOL! …the unflattering fuzz on your face. That’s totally what it does. Same with that Cottonelle tp.

    We never had tissues when I was growing up. We always used tp. And my mom wondered why there were boogers smeared across the walls – all at my height. I totally denied it.

    Okay, what is mocos? I’m so glad I ran into you at tfp. I’m following you via email, so I’ll get all your snot and stuff delivered straight to my inbox.

    • Awesome! I’m so glad you’re following me! I’ve subscribed to yours too!

      Mocos is the spanish word for boogers. I’m half Mexican, so sometimes Spanglish comes out (never full Spanish, ’cause I’m too white to be fully bilingual). Another word you might encounter a lot on my blog is “chonies”–Spanish for “underwear.”

      I also frequent the terms for poop, diarrhea, and farts (caca, chorro, pedos) in my spoken vocabulary, so those might pop up now and again as well.

      Looks like I took away the most important words in the Spanish language. 🙂

  2. @Kate: I totally found her there today too. Which is AWESOME, because I found him today too. And because I saw your comments to each other about boogers and snot and whatnot, I also have your page open in another tab which I am about to go check out. (I’m also a gross booger mofo, I couldn’t NOT visit you both!) I’m not sure where you live, but please never make me food. I will order a pizza or something.
    Also – I’m guessing the “mocos” is mucous? Maybe a pet name for her snot factory?
    Erica – the more I read, the more I adore you. Consider yourself stalked.

    • I totally need to come up with a pet name for my snot factory. Sadly, I’m not so clever, just using Spanish words (see my reply to Kate above).

      I’m so glad you found me! I love nothing more than being stalked. I have your blog now open in a tab and I’ll be following you soon as well.

      Booger buddies must stick together!

  3. Oh, and sorry for not having a “follow comments” widget. I have some plugins, but they haven’t been working, and I’m pretty sure it’s on my end. I’ll reward your efforts of coming back to check for replies by posting more gross entries…deal? 🙂

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