I bought myself a girly shirt the other day. Really, it’s just a glorified tank top with tiny flowing pleats and a sash to tie a bow with. I’m still not sure whether the bow is supposed to be tied in the front or the back. Which brings me to my point: a girly purchase is a break-through for me.
I like my clothes to be casual, comfortable, and sensible. This new shirt is maybe one of the three, so I felt a little guilty buying it. Plus, I feel like I need to be invited to a fancy barbeque or a semi-casual girls night out to wear it. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s cute, and many other girls or women my age would wear it on a weekly excursion to Target (weekly? Who am I kidding? I visit Target, at minimum, twice a week). Anyway, I could wear it today with some jean shorts and sandals, but I’d feel dressy. Strangers would think I looked normal, but I’d know I wasn’t. I’d know that I was way too dressed up. As much as I’ve wanted to buy more girly clothes lately, the greater part of me knows they aren’t practical, and they’re not me. Yeah, I might look cute in them, but at what expense? To losing the sense of me-ness?
I think my mom will literally kill me if I don’t give her a girly granddaughter one day. I always hated those foo-foo dresses my mom would force upon me. The lace all over the dresses itched like crazy! I’m told that I would stick my finger under my collar, tug it away from my neck and say in slow, staccato words, “Take. It. Off.” The only joy I found in dressing up was wearing my shiny black buckle shoes with the quarter inch chunky heel. They were not at all comfortable, as they pretty much tore into my anklebone, rubbing my skin raw through my tights. However, if I walked on the backs of my heels across the kitchen floor, they would leave the most satisfying black “half-moon” marks all over the ground! Sometimes I would purposely slip, so that I could see the line of black tear across the floor. I found use for my impractical shoes.
So I guess that’s what I’m going to have to do in my adult life. Find use for my cute purchases. Ideas?