Haikus For My Computer

My laptop has been running hot, which is causing the fans to spin so fast that I’m surprised they haven’t shot themselves out the CD drive!  After tons of failed troubleshooting, I finally gave in and took it in to get checked out.  I wanted to update, but since it’s too much of a hassle typing out a whole entry on my iPad, I decided to share a few haikus about my computer.

 

My poor little Mac.

It’s running a high fever.

I wish it’d cool down.

 

To the Genius Bar!

It had to stay overnight

to figure this out.

 

I hope it’s not bad.

I miss you my sweet Apple.

Come home to me soon.

Advertisements

Unemployment Benefits

When my school district first laid me off, my initial thought was that a Director of Education position at Sylvan would be a suitable alternative, so you can imagine my excitement, last week, upon finding a similar opening at a center nearby.  The day before I left for camp, I sent them my resume, and on Monday, I had a phone interview with the Sylvan franchise owner that went extremely well.  I was told that the next step would be another Sylvan employee contacting me within 24 hours to schedule a one-on-one meeting/interview.  I was never contacted.  After the first day passed without a call, I initially felt myself sinking into my worthless funk, but now that a few days have passed, I’m actually starting to feel relieved. 
I understand that if I really want the job, I should call the franchise owner again to follow up, but honestly, I’m not sure that I want to.  While that job will bring me around $100 less per month than my unemployment gives me, it comes with benefits and the potential to turn into a salaried job as the economy improves.  And yet, I don’t feel the need to fight for this job.  This could be due to my passive nature, but I really feel that it is due to the fact that I want to teach.  Period.
I’m fairly certain I could excel at Sylvan; even with the managerial demands the position entails.  I might even find some happiness working there; especially once the afternoon hits and the kids arrive.  But ultimately, I know my heart will be longing for that teaching void that this job would not fill.
And honestly?  Besides the waves of worthlessness that wash over me every now and again, I’m actually kind of enjoying my unemployment.  Due to all this free time, I was able to start this blog last June.  For as long as I can remember, writing has been gratifying to me.  I have volumes upon volumes of journals that span from 5th grade to my college years.  I used to write 13 page letters to my best friend on a regular basis before snail mail became outdated.  Writing calms me, and fills me with a sense of accomplishment.  If I hadn’t lost my job, I don’t think I would have found the time to start this blog, and I think that’s what worries me.  I don’t mind putting my writing on a backburner for teaching.  Working with children is my number one passion, and I look forward to the time when I can be back in the classroom.  But to give up my love of writing, for a job that is not where I ultimately want to end up in life, does not sound like an enjoyable alternative. 
Many may look at this decision as selfish, or even idiotic.  Believe me, I wrestle with feelings of guilt and laziness over being unemployed on a daily basis, and not aggressively going after this Sylvan job is taking it’s toll on me (the chewed, pink, raw skin around my thumbs are physical proof of that).  And while my intentions do have a dash of selfishness thrown in, I know I have to make happiness my number one priority.  If I start working a job that ultimately, does not leave me happy, and prevents me from continuing to write, I think I will only live to regret it. 
I’ve always strived to look for the positive in things, and I truly feel that my unemployment was a blessing.  Besides the fact that it gave me the opportunity to write and express myself, it allowed me to move in with Greg, and realize that, despite always being around each other, we still have the most amazing, rock-solid relationship.  It is a love and respect that I’ve never experienced before, and I’m so grateful to live with him and experience what a loving relationship is supposed to feel like.  Moving back to my hometown after twelve years away also strengthened and renewed my relationships with my immediate and extended family.  I’ve always been close with my family, but this proximity has been pleasant and uplifting for me.  I’m thankful for the chance to pop in and visit my grandma in the early afternoon hours, or to meet up on Saturdays at the park for a game of Ultimate Frisbee with my siblings, cousins, and friends.  If I were still teaching in Adelanto, none of this would be possible.
Judge my decisions if you want, but until I’m teaching again, I’m going to make the most of my unemployment and push my guilty feelings aside. 

There Was a Time



***I wrote this very short story as a coping tool to help process my current thoughts and feelings.  Keep in mind that I never write stories.  Ever.  This one just wouldn’t leave my brain, so I quickly typed it out this morning.  Having no creative writing background, I have no intention of editing or expanding on it.  Being that it’s a form of writing, and it’s been a while since I updated my blog, I figured I’d just share it here, rather than keep it tucked away in my computer files.***    



“Gee, my husband is old,” she muttered aloud to no one in particular.
She briefly wondered when time had slipped past them, but let that thought drift as she decidedly focused on their current situation.  One of them was going to need to get a job soon.  Bills don’t pay themselves.
Why did she stop working anyway? 
Light footsteps, and hushed chattering from the other room interrupted her thoughts.  Someone else is here!  As in response to her curiosity, her grandson appeared in the doorway.
Oh, she loved her grandchildren so much!  They all turned into such wonderful young adults.  He gently gave her a kiss and took a seat to her left.  The small talk they shared brightened up her dreary afternoon.
When the conversation lulled, she took a moment to gaze off in silent reflection.  Suddenly, she remembered that she hadn’t spoken to her mother in quite some time.  She really should call her before the day ended.
Looking for the phone, she glanced to her right and noticed her husband lazily napping the day away.
Shaking her head, still searching for the phone, and musing over her husband’s sudden aging, she turned her head leftward.

Noticing a young man sitting in the worn armchair beside her, she uttered to him, “Gee, my husband is old.”