Back in the Boot

While yesterday’s election caused me some anxiety, it was additionally topped with worry about my ankle, as the date coincided with my one-month check-up.  I’m four weeks into my platelet rich plasma therapy on my torn ankle tendon.  Results can’t be certain for two months, and I’ve got another four weeks to go, but I’m no longer feeling too hopeful that this procedure will work for me.  Fortunately (unfortunately) for me, I’m unemployed, so I can give my ankle all the rest it needs and then some!  However, I honestly feel that there has been no improvement, and if possible, my ankle might be worse.  It has been in a state of constant, mild pain for the last month, and yesterday, my doctor ordered me back into my dreaded boot cast.

So, this is happening again.

I’m not looking forward to the dependency that the wearing of this boot creates, but I’ve got to say, I felt instant relief once it was strapped securely to my lower leg.  Last night, for the first time in weeks, I fell asleep pain-free and was able to lay my foot in any position without fear of discomfort.  I have a love-hate relationship with this boot, and I’m currently in the honeymoon stage.  I’m sure these feelings will grow cold in the not so distant future, and I’d like to make a list of the positives behind being stuck in a boot for weeks, so I have something to look back on to feel better about my situation.  So here they are:

Reasons Why Being Stuck in a Boot is Awesome:

1. My sock laundry is cut in half.
2. I can pretend to be Lady Sybil Crawley as my smart and handsome Branson (Greg) chauffeurs me around town.
3. I have a valid reason for not showering everyday.
4. My toes are always warm.
5. I can wear my one pair of skinny jeans as many days in a row as I want.
6. The bowls on the top shelf are now within my standing reach.
7. Confined to my apartment, I can watch hours of television guilt free.
8. I’m pretty sure I could crack a zombie’s skull with this thing if it came down to it.

If you have any other positives behind wearing a boot cast, feel free to share them with me!

I'd Like To Thank The Academy

I just won my first blog award from Jen over at Jeneral Insanity!  I feel like a real blogger now, so thank you!  Jen started stalking following me a month ago today (awww, it’s our stalk-iversary) and I did the same.  How could I not follow someone who enjoys a good booger story and would spend hours talking zombie with me if given the chance?  Her blog is full of random, hilarious accounts of her life ranging from water gun fights in the mall with her brother to the epic battle of putting children to bed.  Plus, she usually has a ton of self-drawn visual aids that are awesome! Definitely go check her out.

Anyway, onto my award! (Yippee!)  I was granted the Liebster Award.  It originated in Germany ‘cause I guess Germans used to have the best blogs or something, but in any case, it’s awarded to those of us newish bloggers who have less than 200 followers.  (Special thanks to the five of you who read this blog for allowing me to qualify for this award.)  Here it is in all it’s pink and heart filled glory:

I did some research on this award (namely, looking up the word “Liebster”) and I was totally, literally, born to get this!  Liebster can be translated to “sweetheart” and wouldn’t you know, my last name, Schatz, also means “sweetheart!”  My quarter German self is quite proud.

Now, there are conflicting rules about this here award.  The original rules are clean and simple, then as Jen so perfectly put it, “a superstitious 11 year old girl [got] involved somewhere down the line.”

Original(ish) Rules For The Liebster Award:

1. You must thank the person who gave you this award.

2. You must display the Liebster heart on your blog.

3. You should nominate 3 to 5 up-and-coming blogs (with less than 200 subscribers)

 

The (now-ish) rules for The Liebster Award:

▪   Each person must post 11 things about themselves.

▪   Answer the questions the person giving the award has sent you.

▪   Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.

▪   Choose 11 people to award and send them the link to your post. Go to their page and tell them.

No tag backs.

 

So, basically, I’m going to do everything except choose 11 people to award.  I’ll stick with the 3-5 guideline (mostly because I’m totally unpopular and can barely name 11 real life friends let alone blogging friends.)

Eleven Things About Me:

I always thought I was half Mexican/half German, until common sense kicked in a few years ago when my brother and I realized our Grandma’s maiden name is English; leaving us only a quarter German…but I still claim half most of the time.  My favorite color is purple.  I can’t smell.  I’m not a huge fan of chocolate.  I love Mountain Dew.  My favorite Disney princess is Aurora.  I still used to look for Smurfs in my backyard.  I’ve run a marathon.  I want to hike half-dome but seriously think I might die doing it, so I don’t avidly pursue it.  I love miniature anything!  Earrings are my favorite jewelry items.

11 Questions for wieners from The Jeneral:

1. What is the first thing you would do in the event of a Zombie Apocolypse?

Change my clothes since they’ll probably be what I’ll be wearing for the rest of my human life (and maybe during my zombie life assuming I don’t get completely eaten).  Specifically, I’d want to make sure I have on a good pair of running shoes.  Then I want to be wearing a lightweight, versatile outfit that will keep me warm when the temperatures drop, but cool in the summer months.  Living in Southern California, that basically means a pair of jeans, and a t-shirt, but maybe I should invest in those khaki pants that can be zippered off into shorts?

2. If you were stranded on an island and could only take 3 things with you, what would they be?

I was just reading the Survivor bios and scoffing at many of their “3 things” lists, but now that I’m asked to answer the same question, I guess my list is pretty boring too: allergy pills, journal with pen (I’m counting that as one item), and my childhood teddy bear, Radar.

3. What would you do if I showed up at your house in a chicken suit with a potato gun and asked if you could come out to play?

I’d run into my bedroom, sort through mine and my boyfriend’s Nerf gun arsenal to find the biggest one, throw on the dorky safety glasses that came with one of our guns, and challenge you to a duel.

4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, and why? (Or not why. Some things are self-explanatory.)

As nice as it would be to change some of my physical attributes, at age 31, I’ve kinda become accustomed to my looks and would rather change something more sensible.  That said, I’d take away my allergies.  I know this can be done through shots, and I started the process a year ago, but you kinda need insurance to keep it going, and it takes 4 years anyway, so if I could make them gone in an instant, I’m all about that! Kittens here I come!

5. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be, and why?

I’d take away all the injustices.  Big or small, I’d want them all gone.  I know that’s vague, but I’m a dreamer, so if you’re wondering if something is an injustice, yes, yes it is, and I’d like it gone.

6. What’s your favorite thing about writing a blog?

It’s that I get to speak up and tell my stories.  I’m such an introvert in person.  Even when I’m around people I’m comfortable with, I prefer to sit back and listen than have any attention drawn to me.  This is my way of being in the spotlight without feeling awkward or having any of those social insecurities that pop up whenever I open my mouth around a group of people.

7. What is your favorite food?

Bean and cheese burrito.  I could eat those forever.

8. If you had one super power, what would it be?

I kept going back and forth with this one, but I think I’m settled with moving objects with my mind.  Perfect for the lazy in me, but also a great power to prank people with.  Plus, I have no upper body strength whatsoever, so it’d come in handy when moving or carrying heavy objects.

9. Do you reheat leftover pizza, or eat it cold?

Both.  If I’m doing a drive-by of my fridge, I’ll just pull out a slice and start munching on it cold.  But if I’m about to sit down to a meal of leftover pizza, I’ll usually heat it up.

10. If I asked you really nicely and offered you my favorite pen, would you give me your pants?

Hmmm, I am a sucker for pens.  I’d say yes, as long as I wasn’t wearing my Emergency Underwear. (You girls know the kind.  The ones that hang unattractively loose off your butt with holes in every conceivable location that you keep stashed in a crumpled bunch at the back of your drawer for, well, emergencies.)

11. Coming up with 11 random questions is hard. If you were me, what would  you ask you? Please do that here and then answer it.

Seeing as I am about to be you and having to come up with 11 questions of my own, I will come up with one, answer it, and then use it on my upcoming victims awardees.  And that question would be: Toilet paper hanging over or under? My answer: Over.

Questions for my Liebster winners:

1. If you had to choose one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
2. In the case of a zombie apocalypse, if one of the people most dear to you turned into a zombie, would you put them out of their misery, lock them up in hopes for a cure, or set them free to feed on brains? (Or if you have another alternative, what would you do?)
3. When living with a spouse or partner, what are your thoughts about using the restroom with the door open?
4. Why did you start your blog?
5. Who is your favorite super hero?
6. If you could be any animal in the world, what animal would you be and why?
7. What are your feelings on Hot Cheetos and Takis?
8. Toilet paper hanging over or under?
9. Do you believe in ghosts?  Why or why not?
10. If you could leave today and go anywhere in the world for a week-long trip, where would you go? (money and life won’t get in your way, so dream as big as you’d like)
11. Mac or PC and why?

And now for my Liebster Award winners:

The Cat Lady Sings – She’s an artist in every way!  Whether it is through writing, painting, or music, this girl is talented!  She loves to travel and share her stories about her adventures, while being sure to sprinkle in cute pictures of her cat.  She’s great about updating on a regular basis, so you’ll become hooked immediately.

Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine – She’s a mommy keepin’ it real!  She speaks candidly about pronto poops, wiping her boogers on the side of the bed (something we bonded over), and boob grabbing in church.  Plus, she has this cool thing on Tuesdays where you can hilariously caption her home photos.

From The House of Cole – Currently living in Germany, I think this award was meant for her as well.  She’s a writer, beginning a 30-day challenge to complete 50,000 words of her current novel.  Her blog writing is so beautifully honest and descriptive, that you’ll instantly fall in love.

Zombie On My Mind…Still

With the return of The Walking Dead, I can’t help but constantly have zombie on my mind.  I’ve already mused on my blog about what sort of zombie I’d become, yet still, the other day, I was thinking about possible scenarios that might play out in the case that I actually live through most of the zombie apocalypse.

 

Me:  If we live through the zombie apocalypse, and it reaches a point where we are completely surrounded with no way out, I think we should just turn ourselves into zombies.

Greg:  I like how this conversation started with, “If we live through the zombie apocalypse…”

Me:  I know I’ve told you before to just shoot me, but now I have a better plan.

Greg: (smiles amusingly while getting up and walking into the kitchen)

Me:  (follows him into the kitchen) Let’s say our apartment is boarded up, with zombies trying to break in.  We could just stick our arms out, get bitten, and wait to be zombified.  That way, by the time they get in, they won’t be able to eat us because we’ll already have turned.

Greg:  Being you, if you stuck your arm out, it would just get torn off.

Me:  True.  So maybe I can just stick a finger out…

Greg:  …to get bit off.

Me:  Or better yet! When their arms squeeze through one of the cracks in the boards, we can stick our arms just within their reach so that they can only scratch us!  Then we just sit back, and wait to turn into zombies.

Greg:  Yeah, and be stuck in our apartment not eating brains.

Me:  Exactly!  So when they come out with the cure, we’ll never have ingested humans.

Greg:  When the CDC finally busts into our apartment, they’ll find two zombies sitting down playing video games.

 

That’s why I love him.  He might tease at first, but at the end of the day, he’ll talk real zombie strategy with me.

Future Zombie

Confession: When I get nervous or anxious, I eat myself.  Literally.  I pick at the skin around my nails and tear it away with my teeth.  And when I’m trying to give the open wounds on my hands a chance to heal, I start gnawing on my bottom lip.  For the most part, I don’t even realize that I’m doing it until I’ve drawn blood.  I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember, and because of it, I have callused thumbs and a permanent crater on my bottom lip.  I can’t seem to shake this anxiety trigger no matter how mindful I try to be.  I’m starting to think that this gross habit of mine predisposes me to becoming a great zombie.

Greg and I have had countless discussions about what would happen to us during the zombie apocalypse.  Though I’ve instructed him to shoot me in the case of our apartment getting overrun, there’s a huge chance I’ll be bitten too quickly for him to help.  The reality of it is that I would be eaten immediately (my hopes being that enough of me survived to become a walking dead).  Greg would likely survive, and he may or may not come back to collect me and lock me up in a cage waiting for a cure. 

We’ve thought about the different options for me as a zombie.  Because of my passive personality and love for everything, it wouldn’t be so far fetched to see me sitting in someone’s front lawn eating daisies as opposed to the helpless child wandering the streets.  Greg and I have laughed over the humorous prospect of me trying to convert my zombie friends to vegetarianism. 

However, with relation to my skin biting, it’s likely that I may find brains delicious.  My worry is over the execution of retrieving said brains.  I’m a pacifist by nature, and I just can’t see myself hunting down an innocent human, no matter how black my own brain becomes.  It’d probably be more likely that I would just be softly growling from a distance and gnashing my teeth together ever so lightly in the hopes that the living would approach me.

Or maybe I’ll just end up resorting to this:

Zombie Erica enjoying a chicken nugget.